Sunday, September 13, 2009

Jealousy...


Dictionary meaning..Fearful or wary of being supplanted; apprehensive of losing affection or position..

My meaning..I am in love with an amazing man and I am so insecure I think he's cheating on me with an older woman who keeps texting him!!

Love does crazy things to the mind, body and soul thats for sure. Drama King is my first real love. When I was 16 and lost my virginity I thought I was in love but when I met Drama King I finally felt what real love is and continues to be.
Now I am cool, calm and collected most of the time...minus the collected bit... but really i'm a laid back person, so prior to meeting Drama King if a guy cheated on me it was his choice because I was gone when I found out, more fish in the see right?? WRONG! If i ever found out that Drama King had cheated on me, I would be crushed, forced to watch some sad love story and have sex with the first guy that hits on me when I go out(only if hes worthy of course, otherwise that wouldn't make me feel good at all)

Now I don't even know why these thoughts are running through my head because I know he loves me and he tells me he could never live without me but how do I know he means it?? He might just be saying what I want to hear right?? I just dont know!! Im so scared of loosing him that its making me paranoid..even after 2 years!! Now we've talked about marriage and kids and I really want to get engaged but he's hesitating. Which I can sort of understand I guess. But if he's so sure that i'm the one why wait?? Life's short, people can be here one day and gone the next and I dont want to wait. I dont want to be one of those people that looses the one they love, i dont want this love story to end in tragedy. And I know it sounds over dramatic but its true and i'm sure all you people who have boyfriends, partners, husbands, lovers fully understand where I'm coming from.

Gahhh and all this has come out because he's been texting an older woman that works with him. I wish I was more trusting and he has never done anything to not have my trust, if anyone im the one that doesnt deserve the trust. Im just so worried that my poor heart will get broken and I dont think it can handle that right now. So perhaps its not him thats the problem. Maybe its me, maybe im just too insecure, have low self esteem and unhappy with my body. Maybe its my fault that sometimes I feel like he doesn't find me attractive. OMG what the heck is wrong with me. This is just pathetic...I'm off for now..just over thinking this a tad I think..






Your Drama Addict
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Friday, September 11, 2009

Europe here I come!!


So guess what?? My dream of going to Europe is finally coming true..In March 2010!!!

Me and Drama King and 6 of his friends are all going on a fantastic 10 day contiki tour(tours for 18-35 y.o) which goes to the following places..

London, England..



Paris, France..



Rome, Italy..



And our own little addition =D
Amsterdam, Netherlands..



Im soooo excited, this trip will be like a dream come true..

If you want to know more about contiki tours read more here..http://contiki.com.au/
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Thursday, September 10, 2009

Nineteen things I have learned since being Nineteen


Seeing as my 20th birthday is on Sunday I thought there couldnt be a better time to reflect on the past year and what i've learn't if anything. =D

In no particular order the notorious nineteen....

19. Nothing (and i mean nothing) is perfect

18. People are all the time changing and no matter how hard you try there not about to change back.

17. Turning your back on a friend is not a cool thing to do, especially when they were always there for you.

16. I have many dreams that may but may not ever come true.

15. True love doesn't fade overnight..or ever..

14. Grass is defiantly not greener on the other side.

13. Going out drinking night after night leaves you with a permanent hang over.

12. Having your very own place to come home every day is pure gold..love it

11. Sometimes its better to grow up then deny your responsibilities (i know boring right!!)

10. Yes people can be annoying, and yes you have to deal with it.

9. Even know my mother constantly disapproves of things i do, i know she loves me.

8. I have an addiction to Taylor Swift.

7. Also in love with Gossip Girl, Grey's Anatomy, Veronica Mars and One Tree Hill.

6. Traveling is my ultimate passion and I love planning overseas trips.

5. Blogging is my new favorite thing..

4. I give good advice to my friends but sometimes need to take my own advice instead of dish it out.

3. I have a man that loves me for me and I wouldn't trade him for anything (unless we're talking more then $100,000,000)

2. People grow apart and move on, and theres nothing wrong with that.

1. I'll always have my fun memories with the people I love to remind me of who i used to be and prepare me for who i'm still to become.

There ya have it folks. Those are 19 this I have learn't/accepted in the past year. Bring on being 20 wooohoooo!!
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Wednesday, September 9, 2009

If its one thing school taught me...


Its that theres always going to be that one girl who seems to be naturally good at everything while you wither away trying your arse off but never get anywhere. Well good news is that, that one person continues to be perfectly good at everything after school, bad news is the rest of us continue to try ours arses off and still get nowhere. Now for someone like me being friends/colleauges with someone like that proves to be rather difficult. Because on the one hand I could be extremely happy for this person (because i'm supposed to be their friend) or just be extremely jealous and live in misery. The write answer seems apparent..but being me i always take the hard road. I just cant help it. My competitive streak takes over and I find myself constantly trying to be better then her and constantly failing. The most annoying thing is that we seem to be doing the same thing at work and shes getting better results, we seem to be at the stage in life yet she buys a house before me. I can't help but have some sort of resentment towards her, but that moves to the back of my mind when we talk because she is soo cool and nice. Grrrr some people have it all. Leave some for the rest of us.

Your Drama Addict

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Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Boy Meets Girl, Boy and Girl Fall Head Over Heals




I first met my beloved boyfriend in June 2007 when I moved to a new town and we were working together at a supermarket. I was still with a current boyfriend who had moved to this new town with me so naturally I tried to deny my feelings for Drama King. Me and my boyfriend at the time grew apart very quickly and i fell head over heals for Drama King. Now it wasn't the typical get together. We slept together for about a month prior to us becoming "official" and oh god we were going like rabbits (which all new couples do). Anyway i decided it was completely unfair to my boyfriend at the time because I was cheating on him. Which i know is completely unacceptable but it was very complicated. He had like moved with me from one end of the state to the other and was living with me and my family. So eventually I ended it with him and he took the next plane out. After awhile Drama King and I were together pretty much all the time and a stint with him kissing another girl pushed me over the edge and i told him i wanted to be an official couple and he agreed because naturally he had fallen hard for me and my charm.

So we were both completely smitten and I was always having sleep overs at his house. After about 6 months we decided we'd move in together because it was just convenient at the time. Now we soon realized it may have been a little premature. It was good in the beginning. Having our own little home (it was a 2 bedroom unit) and having the freedom to have sex anywhere at any time without worrying about anyone else. But all the problems began when his brother moved in with us (which i totally didn't agree with). His brother is fat, lazy, messy, basically all the most annoying things you can think of. And it caused a lot of fights between Drama King and I because I would have a go at his brother and Drama King would defend him. Things between Drama King and I were gradually sliding down hill. I would go out clubbing and he wouldn't want to go, and he didn't trust me so he was always pissed off when i would go out.

Eventually we had the opportunity to move into a 3 bedroom house that a colleague offered us to rent. So we moved into this house, but the problems didn't disappear and we had both gained weight and just weren't happy anymore. Finally on new years eve of 2008 we broke up mutually and I moved out the next day. After 3 months apart we realized how much we missed each other and still loved one another. Which is pretty easy to notice when I woke up to myself and realized the grass was defiantly not greener on the other side.

So now we are back together and never been happier, I think a lot of the problems were caused by his brother but we're leaving that in the past now. We've decided we're not going to move in together again until we're both ready and theres no rush, we're still young. I really appreciate him now more then ever because I am not an easy person to put up with haha. I complain a lot and am a bit blonde sometimes but he still loves me and I love him for that very reason. It defiantly takes a special person to take me just as I am and I hope that never changes.

Its been a bumpy road but we're still traveling along
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Welcome to Me!!



So have u ever had a moment in life where something happens and you suddenly ask yourself where the heck is your life going? Well i'm pretty sure everyone has because we’re only human. Truth is i'm a self confessed drama addict. What is a drama addict i hear u ask. It is in fact someone-usually female however not a necessity- that makes everything into a big deal and thinks there life is like the Truman show- and for those who don’t know the Truman show is a Jim Carey movie and his life was a TV show without him even knowing. Drama addicts constantly think that everything that goes wrong in their life is just a twist in the complicated plot instead of an actual disaster. Which i suppose is ok if u live in a fantasy land. And is also ok if you are me. I never used to think i was addicted to drama, i just thought life was overly complicated and hard and i constantly had problems. One day i was unloading all my problems onto my mother and she took the liberty to tell me i was a drama addict. I obviously objected. Me? A drama addict, you have to be kidding me. I then proceeded to tell my mother that she was clearly delirious. After awhile when my life was still constantly dramatic i thought about what my mother had said. Hmm i suppose i do create problems out of thin air i thought. I never really know what side of an argument im on until i win of course. I don’t really have a point of view on most things and im always changing my mind about things ive already proclaimed to my adoring public which normally consists of my darling computer and my over the top in love some days and not the next boyfriend. My friends come into at some stage but they have their own drama in this story. Gosh see how complicated it is, well not really now i see it in writing, but this is just the beginning.

You see i belong to a generation that watch too many movies and get caught up in TV shows which seem real just a lot more dramatic. Everyone is constantly bagging out generation y and how we rely on technology and all the rest of it. (i don’t really pay attention) when really we use technology to make our lives more exciting just like everyone else. We are people too. We have our own thoughts and beliefs. So we’re not married at 15 and don’t believe in no sex before marriage. I always say try before u buy, because lets face it. You don’t want to return it. Now obviously some people don’t agree with that, but its as clear as day to me, if u don’t want to divorce sex before marriage is the key. Because it defiantly could create problems in later life no matter how much you love each other. And what would you do with your time if u did wait? Surely you'd be a tad curious, we all have a gutter in our brains somewhere, whether your a saint or not. And you can deny it all you want but i know the truth. You cant hide it when its written all over your saint-like face. Now this account is by no means meant to go public or get made into a book-even though that would obviously be a dream come true to a drama addict. Over night fame is the obvious dream for someone like me. Someone like me who hates work and makes everything harder then it is. And unfortunately for me i was blessed/cursed with a brain that even if i don’t try hard i still tend to be relatively ok at certain things. Which means i tend to learn my jobs very quickly and also get bored of them very quickly. Which also means that i have had a few too many jobs for my age. Now even though i have only lived 20 years of life i feel like i have had many life experiences, some great, some not so great. I told my mother today that she should feel old because she had me 20 years ago. Now thats 2 decades. Such a long time. But she reakons i still act like a child so it doesn't feel like 20 years. I then told her well its been a long 20 years for me. To get to my accomplished nothing of a life, but that'll change soon. You just wait. I'm sure ill be famous one day. Opportunities are endless when your 20, you've still got your whole life to decide what you want to do. Now i could list everything i've ever wanted to be, but i think it'd be shorter to write what i don’t want to be. Lucky for you i'm about to list neither. All you need to know is that at the top of the list write now is a travel agent. Now travel has always appealed to me. Its a kind of freedom you cant get staying in one place, its all the cultures you can experience, all the crazy things you can do, all the fantastic types of fun that u can have, real life changing experiences.

Now the only life changing experience from my first travel experience was the fact that i came home a slut, made overnight friends, and pretty much loved myself about as much as i could at that stage. What could u expect from a high school graduate that was going on her first solo trip. It was the most wonderful thing in my life. Thats when my life changed. Well my sex life anyway. Im sure your wondering where i actually went on this life changing experience. It was a schoolies cruise through the pacific, stopping off at New Caledonia, Lifou and Isle of Pines (the most beautiful place ive ever been), look it up. Basically it was so great because i was so wanted, all the gay arse high school boys never paid me much attention and they certainly weren’t paying attention when i bloomed into a hot little blonde. Thats why when i was on this floating orgy i was suddenly so popular with the opposite sex i just couldn’t resist. Anyway more on this juicy tell all about my sex life bit later.

Now im not entirely sure if I always start things and never finish them because of the whole “self confessed drama addict” or if its purely because i get bored then i get lazy. I vote the last one but i don’t think the decision is mine to make. Its all you guys. (My adoring fans of course is who im referring too) Now i am a uni drop out, undertaken many fad diets which never work, have countless un-used gym memberships and many unfinished stories. Which is probably how this one will end up (no fault of my own obviously)...anyways more on this later.

Your Drama Addict
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